


i'll fabricate a lie and lay it back to you

by Phoenixgriffin260



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Backstory, Bad French, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dissociation, French Characters, Gen, I blame myself and kellogg, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Therapy, Touch-Starved, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 11:35:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20656589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenixgriffin260/pseuds/Phoenixgriffin260
Summary: Pat was.. Concerned- not that he wasn't always, but this time, more than usual.Thomas's death day was approching, and that never meant anything good.Fortunately, both Julian and Cap seem to have noticed; although how much help they will be is a mystery.





	i'll fabricate a lie and lay it back to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highinfibre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highinfibre/gifts).

Undeath, Thomas decided, was terrible. 

What was worse, however, was the _want. _The _need_ that flooded the placid land with blood, dripping and slitted with a thousand scars- red and raw, burning with each unbreath and step. 

He wanted to, _needed_ to, but the laws of the ghostly realm did not let him. 

Thomas hated it. 

He _hated_ it. 

_**Hated**_ it. 

Just like he hated himself. 

He didn't deserve to be a ghost, or perhaps that was his punishment for being so- so much like _himself._ He didn't deserve the ghosts. He didn't deserve _friends_. 

His family was right. 

Richard was right. Jacobina was right. 

He never deserved Calix, or Emily's doting. 

(Thomas lets himself stare out the window, blankly. He feels his fingers curling against the bullet wound, but it doesn't feel like it _should._ It should hurt. He should hurt.) 

Why would he deserve them? He never gave back; he was selfish. They gave, and gave, even _protected_ him- 

He doesn't register the tears.


End file.
